How to Integrate into Your Community

(aka How not to be "That arrogant kid from ____________")

**DISCLAIMER: This page is 85% my opinion, the other 15% comes from Peace Corps training on this topic, but if you asked me to identify which is which, I probably couldn't.  Having acclimated to life overseas and then to life in Mississippi, I feel that maybe I have some wisdom to share on this topic.  This is what worked for me...maybe it will work for you.**

1.  Recognize that you don't know any more than any other adult in your community.

You may have DIFFERENT knowledge, but you do not have more knowledge.  For example, you may know more than another teacher about math, but I guarantee you that the veteran teacher knows how to get a new overhead bulb when yours blows out the second week of school and your EEF money hasn't come yet.  Do NOT try to impress others with how much you know.  Be humble.  Be willing to learn.  You'd be amazed at all the things people can teach you if you respect their knowledge.

2.  Always ask questions.

When you ask someone a question in your community, it does two things: First, it makes them feel good, because you need their help.  Second, you start to learn about everything around you.  Make sure they are real questions, though.  Not, "Why do we have to do this?", but "How do you usually do this?".  At work, this makes you the outstanding first year teacher who gets along with everyone in the building and gets to choose from the best advice from all the other teachers.  Just stick your head in their door before/after school and ask a question.  You will have a lot of them, so it shouldn't be hard.  Outside of work, this helps you to get to know your neighbors, and makes them feel somewhat responsible for your well-being.  You'd be surprised: the minute you ask someone for help on something, they feel somewhat responsible for making sure you're ok in the future.  It never hurts to have people looking out for you.

3.  Whenever possible, join a church.

Unless you have strong personal beliefs that would keep you from joining some kind of religious group, then this is what you need to do as soon as possible.  Churches are where people really get to know one another.  If you're in a small town, it will help make you a part of that town.  If you're in Jackson, it will give you your own little niche in town.  If you've never been to church, ask your co-workers and neighbors where they go.  Research different religions/denominations on the internet.  Go visit different churches.  If you don't like one, don't give up.  There are a million different kinds.

4.  Avoid the tendency to hang out with other Teacher Corps/TFAs and gripe.

You will have to vent at times, that's only natural.  But hopefully, those times will start to become more of a once-a-week occurance after the first few weeks.  You will be with Teacher Corps people every other weekend.  It will inevitably become a competition for best-story/worst-story.  This is not necessarily bad.  The bad part comes if you also live with Teacher Corps people, eat with Teacher Corps people, read Teacher Corps blogs all day long, and "unwind" with Teacher Corps people on the other weekends.  First year teacher + beer= story about horrible thing that happened at school this week.  You either need to make some kind of serious rule with your MTC friends about when you will tell these stories, or you need to find another social group to hang out with at least once a week (i.e. church members).  If you're in a small town, you also don't want everyone in town to hear you griping over margaritas every week.

5.  Avoid the tendency to compare your life here with your life "at home".

If you're from somewhere else, you probably came here in part to experience life in a different part of the country.  Life here is not "better" or

"worse" than life in Alabama, Massachusetts, California, Georgia, etc....It's just different.  You came here to experience new things, experience them!  Laugh at your 47th glass of sugar-saturated iced tea, buy some of the CDs your students listen to, go to a football or basketball game.  Although you will inevitably have moments of homesickness, recognize that home is comfortable because it's familiar...so make some of these new things familiar.

6.  Get a subscription to the local paper.

I actually have not done this, but absolutely need to.  This will give you something to talk about with people and help you find things to do around town.  Besides, there's usually some pretty interesting stuff going on.

7.  Leave school-work at school.

If you spend 24 hours a day working on school work, you will never make friends.  Set a reasonable limit for yourself.  I lesson plan at home, but everything else is done at school.  If that means coming in at 7 and leaving at 5:30, it's worth it.  It will be almost impossible to accomplish this the first nine weeks.  Try to get a handle on it as soon as possible.

8.  Go to a wedding/birthday/etc.

If you somehow get invited to some kind of celebration for someone in your school or town...GO!  This is where you see that grumpy science teacher take jello shots or hear the story no one told you about last year's principal.  If you can get to know some of the people at school on a personal level, it makes it much more enjoyable to work with them.

9. Be ridiculously helpful.

Help the other new teacher organize her room.  Bake brownies for the custodians.  Answer the phones for the secretary.  Help your neighbor mow the lawn.  You don't have time to do any of this, of course, but you don't have time to do everything they expect of you anyway...is one hour going to hurt that much?

10. Be honest, but indirectly.

A strange southern cultural tidbit: avoid direct confrontation at all costs.  This is why most southern women are absolutely insane.  This takes a lot of tact.  You can't base any kind of real friendships or relationships on dishonesty, but you can be honest without being confrontational.  Sometimes all it takes is a smile and kind look while you tell the person you completely disagree with them.